I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
