he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
