Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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