Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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