Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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