I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize