D3 body, D1 cock
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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