it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
