a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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