yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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