I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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