Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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