I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
