Can i not drive my cunt home
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
