I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
