i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
