JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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