I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
