...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
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I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
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I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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