you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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