Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
