I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Let's get the cat blown out
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
