it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
