a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize