Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
