just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
