It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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