You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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