he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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