that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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