guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
