i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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