ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
