You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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