you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just puked most of my soul out..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
