my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
