I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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