did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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