I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
