Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
