Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
