i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
