I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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