38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
