I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
