just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
