I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Still dying that you shit outside
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
We smell like vodka and hangover
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