And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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