I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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