Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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