i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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