I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
