Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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