He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize