What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
