please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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