Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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