i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
