fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
