come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
